Der ultimative allgemeine Witz-Thread

[junimond]

auch ganz amüsant & ebenfalls aus einer älteren stern-ausgabe:

ein gespräch zw. george w. bush & seiner sicherheitsberaterin condoleezza rice:

george: condi! nice to see you. what´s happening?
condi: sir, i have the report here about the new leader of china.
george: great! lay it on me!
condi: hu is the new leader of china.
george: that´s what i want to know.
c: that´s what i´m telling you.
g: that´s what i´m asking you. who is the new leader of china?
c: yes.
g: i mean the fellows name.
c: hu.
g: the guy in china.
c: hu.
g: the new leader of china.
c: hu.
g: the chinese guy.
c: hu is leading china.
g: now whaddya´ asking me for?
c: i´m telling you hu is leading china.
g: well, i´m asking you. who is leading china?
c: that´s the man´s name.
g: that´s who´s name?
c: yes.
g: will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of china?
c: yes, sir.
g: yassir?? yassir arafat is in china? i thought he was in the middle east?
c: that´s correct
g: then who´s in china?
c: yes, sir.
g: yassir is in china?
c: no, sir.
g: then who is?
c: yes, sir.
g: yassir?
c: no, sir.
g: look, condi. i need to know the name of the new leader of china. get me the secretary general of the U.N. on the phone.
c: kofi?
g: no, thanks.
c: you want kofi?
g: no.
c: you don´t want kofi?
g: no, but now that you mention it, i could use a glass of milk. and then get me the U.N.
c: yes, sir.
g: not yassir! the guy at the U.N.
c: kofi?
g: milk!! will you please make the call!
c: and call who?
g: who is the guy at the U.N. ?
c: hu is the guy in china!
g: will you stay out of china!?!
c: yes, sir.
g: and stay out of the middle east! just get me the guy at the U.N.
c: kofi.
g: all right! with cream and two sugars. now get on the phone!
c: (picks up the phone) rice here.
g: rice?? good idea! and a couple of egg rolls, too. maybe we should send some to the guy in china. and the middle east. can you get chinese food in the middle east??