Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.
"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!
She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.
"Pierre! What are you doing?', asks the bewildered Marie.
"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"
Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously,
"PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"
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A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand Binary and those that don't!
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson had taken time off from their busy case load to enjoy a week's camping holiday in the Lake district. On their last evening, after an excellent meal, a bottle of fine claret and a brace of cigars, the intrepid pair lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke with a start and nudged his faithful friend awake.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes."
"And what do you deduce from your observation?" enquired the great Detective with a quizzical expression on his aristocratic face.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Mars is in conjuction with Saturn in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I marvel at the rich tapestry of creation and comprehend how very small and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. Meteorologically, I am tolerably certain that we shall have a fine day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a moment and then cuffed his assistant around the ear. "Watson, you are a confounded idiot. It tells me that some blackguard has stolen our tent!"
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