[Georgy Drachenköter]

From a distance, the island looked peaceful and idyllic as the sun began to rise behind it. The white sand beach sparkled and colourful parakeets began fluttering between the palm trees, sqwawking
tunelessly like one of Radiohead's better efforts.

In the woods however, where the rays never penetrated, a certain Dominic Howard was feeling anything but peaceful. He still lay bound by wiry creepers to a most uncomfortable bamboo table while his
suntanned captors busied themselves arranging their King to his satisfaction. Soon the scaly humanoid was settled on a throne made of skulls which they'd carried in, surveying Dom from a superior height with his pointed chin on a gleaming green fist.

"So, Mr Howard" hissed Kahn "I do hope you are eager to help us in our quest"

Dom glared back. The many cuddles and strokes bestowed upon the Dom Doll by Jo had left him feeling warm and confident; he'd had just about enough of this and was ready to say so.

"Fuck you" he snarled "You must be stupid as well as ugly, how do you expect to get Matt's voice from me?" From somewhere nearby, a particularly intimate fondling of the Doll made him wriggle
and smother a smirk. Levitating above the trees, Jo snatched the Doll from Jamie and poked him hard. The canopy was densely green, they had no idea how close they were.

"You are brave, Mr Howard, or you have convinced yourself you are" sneered Kahn "But let us see just how long that lasts when your heart is offered up to the Gods, you will scream and shit yourself just like all the rest" The forked tongue flicked right round both yellow eyes; they gleamed evilly at Dom as the saliva dripped down the lizard's face.

"Excuse me?" said Dom "You may have some crazy idea about sacrificing me, but I'm here to tell you that you might be having to change your plans - I'm getting rescued quicker than you can say "knife", yeah!" He began to giggle, it was all too ridiculous. Kahn smiled slowly.

"Oh dear, Mr Howard" he hissed "Looks like the jungle juice we gave you to take the edge off things has kicked in too soon....it will probably have worn off by the time the sun is high enough
for the ceremony...too bad..." A fly which was innocently buzzing past was expertly captured by Kahn's tongue and dispatched down his throat in a split second. "But never mind" he continued smoothly after a quick gulp "You are a close friend of Bellamy, the gods will surely smile upon us when we make them a present of your life, Mwwaahahahaaaaaa!!!"

The lizard monarch slithered off the throne with a dry, scraping sound and was at Dom's side instantly. With a claw he speared the rough cotton sheet which covered the captive and twitched it to the floor. Dom glanced down at himself and gasped. He was naked apart from a tiny skirt made of dried grass. Oh, and on the left side of his now heaving chest, a large red heart painted in god knows what glistened shockingly against his white skin.
He stared. Stared some more. Then screamed with helpless laughter.

************************************************** **************************

"This is hopeless, we're never going to find him" groaned Helen, peering over the steering wheel of the Cooper and squinting at the impenetrable gloom of the forest.

Well it's only a little island, how far can he have gone? asked Ellen, nose pressed against a side window. In the distance she could see their beach; Nessy was wallowing in the sea surrounded by leaping dolphins and looking extremely happy for an enormous dinosaur
many miles from home.

"Knowing our track record, anything could have happened" sighed Jill "He might have been teleported into space or something"

"Yeah, lets be really optimistic shall we?" frowned Stef "Come on, it's just the usual natives and cooking pot scenario - we'll storm in, grab him before they put him in the pot and kick the boiling water over all the natives; there'll be a lot of screaming and frazzling and we'll be home before teatime, you know I'm right" There followed much wise faced nodding from five girls who had seen a lot of rescue action. Chris and Matt edged closer together and tried
to look confident too.

"Quick, pass Joe over" squeaked Megan suddenly "I see his breakfast coming"

Sure enough, as the Cooper swung around the extreme end of the island, a horde of zombies could be seen gathered around a pile of stones. They seemed to be moving jerkily to a certain rhythm. Matt silently passed Joe to Megan and she fixed her eye to the sights, training the high powered gun on the crowd below. Then both he and Chris stared hungrily at her tensed arse as she took aim.

"Wait!" barked Helen from the driving seat "What are they all doing?" Flicking the controls to 'Invisible' she sneaked the Cooper closer to the zombies. The nearer they approached, a sound
could be heard, above the wordless grunts of the zombies.

"Holy fuck" gasped Stef "It's Muse!"

Atop the pile of stones, a very battered ghetto blaster sat, blaring out the familiar sound of "Agitated". The zombies were doing their best, but their slow shuffling and dropping off of various body parts were not really doing justice to the madness of the song. Megan shuddered and dropped Joe to waist level, flicking on the safely catch.

"Shit" she gulped "to think I nearly blasted them....they're MUSE FANS for fucks sake!!! How the hell did that happen?"

"Awwww" said Ellen comfortingly, throwing an arm around Megan "How were you to know? Forget it mate" Other hands materialised to pat Megan reassuringly; for a minute or two they completely forgot about Dom. Then there was a sudden chittering sound from the front window.

"What's that Colin?" demanded Jill "Are you sure? God, you're right, look at that"

"What?" asked Helen as they all stared out at the moulting, heaving zombies

"Every single one of them" pronounced Jill "has had their heart ripped out"

************************************************** ************

"MATTHEW JAMIESON BELLAMY!!!!" scolded Jo from their position above the trees "Will you STOP trying to get your paws inside my jumper, give me the Dom Doll and start taking this seriously?" She dug her fingernails into the soft skin under Jamie's arms and
glared into his searing blue eyes "We need to save Dom!"

Jamieson squirmed deliciously and rubbed his head against her shoulder like a cat at teatime. Whole stadiums full of Musey fangirls would have killed to be Jo at this point. "Sorry" he said "Only I really think my girls can save Dom without us....after all they've been
doing this sort of thing for a long, long time..." He began nibbling at Jo's earlobe "Ooo, you taste nice" he purred.

"NO!" she shouted exasperatedly "How many times must I remind you, Dom and me are together...for ever...and that means no meddling by you...or anyone else...gerroff will you?"
She batted at Jamieson's questing hands and tried to concentrate on the forest below. Despite herself, a small sob of frustration escaped her. Jamieson sighed resignedly.

"Look" he said "If you're really worried, there's an easy way to find him" Jo stared back at him through her tears, faint hope dawning.
"Give me the Doll" he commanded. Wordlessly, she handed the battered wooden Doll to the clone. Reaching under his collar, Jamieson produced the fluffy pink tail end of his leash, which had been dangling down under his shirt since first being attached to him
so long ago when he'd first fallen to Earth. Smirking, he twisted it around the neck of the Doll.

"I used to hate this" he confessed, twiddling the leash affectionately, "Because as long as I have it on, my girls know exactly where I am, and so does Matt" His smile was suddenly
genuine as he considered his brother and the ABRSS/BBCC; the family he'd never expected to find.

"But now, I could never be without it" he smiled sheepishly "because if they ever lost me, I think I would die.....right....here we go..." Clutching tightly onto Jo, following the tingling message sent down the leash from the Doll, Jamieson dived down towards a certain location in the forest below. Stifling a shriek of surprise, Jo clung on and concentrated on Dom, sending her everlasting love and reassurance to him as she and the alien clone plummeted towards the trees.

************************************************** *************************

Back at the Zombie Muse-fest, Matt clutched convulsively at his head and let out a howl. Immediately every occupant of the Cooper was at his side to offer support and strokings.
Well, Chris just did the support bit.

"Urrghhh" moaned Matt "Quick...I think I know where Dom is...shit...we need to go...NOW!!!!.